While scrolling my social media a few weeks ago, I came across a post that had been shared. This post was rather lengthy but as I began reading it, found the words to be conceptually familiar to me. Although written by a mom to her children, I want to stress that this applies to relationships, in general, that are encountered in life. This I know first hand.

“It took me a long time to realize that each person is responsible for their life.”

“It took me years to discover that my anguish, anxiety, my depression, my courage, my insomnia and my stress does not solve your problems but aggravates mine.”

Any negative feelings you undertake regarding the problems of others, does nothing for them. What it does do is harm you emotionally, mentally, physically and even perhaps spiritually.

“I am not responsible for the actions of anyone and it’s not my job to provide happiness but I am responsible for the reactions I express to that.”

The actions of others are THEIR responsibility. You are only responsible for how you respond or react to others. Happiness is not something that can be provided because it is not found outside of one’s self.

“Therefore, I came to the conclusion that my duty to myself is to remain calm and let each one of you solve what corresponds to you.“

“I have taken courses in yoga, meditation, miracles, human development, mental hygiene, stress management… and in all of them, I found a common denominator: I can only control myself, you have the necessary resources to solve your own problems despite how hard they may be.“

“My job is to pray for you, love on you, encourage you but it’s up to YOU to solve them and find your happiness. I can only give you my advice if you ask me and it depends on you to follow it (or not).”

You can give support to others in the form of prayer, encouragement, inspiration, enlightenment or a combination of them. You can give advice or guidance when asked for it. Remember that no matter what you do to help the other person, the choice and responsibility is still theirs.

There are consequences, good or bad, to your decisions and YOU have to live them.”

As discussed many times, choices are the responsibility of the person who makes them and every choice you make carries a consequences that is either positive or negative. You live your choices because your choices create your life. Most will gladly take responsibility for the positive consequences of their choices. Not so much when their choice carries a negative consequence. It needs to be understood that there are no excuses or placing blame that can absolve you of the negative consequence of your choice.

You cannot dodge the responsibility as it is solely yours.

“So from now on, I cease to be the receptacle of your responsibilities, the sack of your guilt, the laundress of your remorse, the advocate of our faults, the wall of your lamentations, the depositary of your duties, who should solve your problems or spare a tire every time to fulfill your responsibilities.”

These are called boundaries and are necessary in life. Setting personal boundaries is healthy not selfish. When you set them, you allow the release of that which is not yours and for healing to occur. Your boundaries create a protective barrier to prevent you from internalizing anything from outside of yourself. In many situations, this can be imperative to your health.

As previously stated above, this is not an exclusive concept and can be applied to personal, social, global, universal and even political relationships. Boundaries can vary in form and purpose. Wouldn’t laws be an example of setting boundaries? Weren’t human laws created to protect society as well as the individual? Wasn’t the purpose to deter what was deemed as criminal behavior? What about other laws like spiritual, religious or universal law?

Think about the importance of boundaries. Think about the intended purpose of a boundary. Think about your personal boundaries. Do you have any? If yes is your answer, do you need modify, update or make additions to them? Are you applying the boundaries you have set consistently, sometimes or not at all in your life? If your answer to the first question was no, are you going to set boundaries in your life?