There are certain times of the year, like in preparation for a new year, when reflection occurs on what has transpired and regarding life. However, life mode reflection has no time restrictions or limitations. With this in mind I felt prompted to write about three modes of life that can be experienced. The odds are quite good that you have or will experience periods of all three in your lifetime as I have.

Life is what you make of it. How you live your life changes based on your perspective and priorities. What you encounter in your life can change one or the other or both. These times of significant change are life altering. Some call them milestones while others refer to them as phases or stages of life. So I ask the question, “What mode of life are you in today?” As with many things, the interpretation of these modes can be subjective. What each is considered to be can differ from person to person based on perspective, priorities and experience. The three life modes of this article are faking it, existing it and living it.

Faking It

This is the mode of illusion. Living an illusion seems like it would be easy in that it is a falsehood. Unlike truth, a falsehood can be modified to fit one’s perceived needs. As children, make believe or pretend was considered as playtime and was associated with the development of the imagination. What is it when an adult does it? As adults, it seems that make believe or pretend is considered as trendy and can be associated with being /becoming someone of relevance.

Are you going through life faking it? I recently read a post by Pauliness Goodness on LinkedIn regarding this very thing. It said there is a familiar concept called “fake it ’til you make it”. Supposedly it is one of projecting success before actually obtaining it. It is important to acknowledge that this is not the same as the use of positive affirmations. Although a positive affirmation is stated as if it has occurred (a declaration), it is personal and helps the affirmer to believe what is declared internally thus setting the intention for it to be manifested in the physical world. The post I read, went on to point out that consequences of this concept have included increased pressure, increased stress and increased anxiety while attempting to maintain the façade created. This “fake it ’til you make it” concept seems to have gained some steam with the introduction of the ‘influencer’ trend. This trend ignited through entertainment to technology… “reality” tv shows to social media can be seen as a partial or total disconnect to one’s reality.

I think everyone wants a break or escape from their “reality” temporarily. Taking a break helps your health as it helps to alleviate stress and anxiety for a while. However, the practice of projecting success before actually achieving it is a ruse that causes stress and anxiety. Can you actually take a break from a ruse, illusion or falsehood? The post also said that this practice is said to cause financial drain not to mention an energetic drain and some risks include fallbacks, setbacks and disappointment. You may or may not be aware of this illusion depending on your mind set. I have talked about inside and outside sources. The goal is to look inside and draw from your internal source instead of looking outside yourself. Many outside sources are falsehoods and have strings attached although they may be hidden with the use of a smoke screen like the issues of victimhood, racism, discrimination and other controlling mentalities. Receiving accolades, opportunity, position and status not based on achievement and merit is a life of illusion. Is it not?

What has been discussed this far are things that you are aware of. What about that which you are not aware of? Does your life reflect that which is expected of you or that you perceive is expected? Does your life reflect the outside influence you receive? Does your life reflect the circumstance you face? Does your life reflect the constraints that are placed on you? Are you too busy to notice the state of your life? Are these not ways in which life can be lived as an illusion? You may also not be aware that your mode of life is within your control. You have a choice. Staying consciously aware of your mode helps to keep it in check as you progress through life and all that you encounter. End the illusion. Stop the falsehood. Lose the image. Embrace you and your life. Live it making the best of every day no matter what you encounter.

Existing It

When you are in this mode, the feeling of hope can diminish and an internal solitude can grow. Existing is a disconnect from “life”. This disconnect can be a partial or total one. It means that you are going through the motions of life or going through life on auto pilot. This mode can be a tough one. It’s like looking out a locked window watching life pass you by or being in a bubble as life goes on around you. Do you know that you can unlock the window or pop the balloon any time you choose to? When existing, you do not care because you are consumed with the “whatever” that keeps you from living it.

The “whatever” is usually associated with a life change. It is important not to make comparisons to others. Remember what you deem as a life changer may not be seen as such by others. Also remember that how others have dealt with the same or similar change may not work for you. This type of change could be a breakup, disappointment, ‘failure’, divorce, death, aging, ’empty nest’, retirement and the list goes on. It can become complex with what can sprout from the initial response to the change. Let me give an example. When a death occurs you grieve the loss. Grief can sprout resentment, anger, guilt, loneliness, longing, hopelessness, etc. What sprouts can make it even more difficult to deal with. Are there other means of entering the existing it mode? Yes. You may inadvertently enter an existing mode when you feel “stuck” in life. As a result of feeling “stuck” in your life, you can shut down areas of yourself or possibly shut down all together. The same principle applies if you are a “dreamer” because your focus in on what you want your life to be. When this does not materialize your focus is placed on pondering the reasons it did not. Without the effort being put forth that is needed to make it come to fruition, it does not occur.

No matter the source it can be difficult to get out of an existing mode. How may you go about doing it? There is no simple or sure-fire answer to this question. The how is dependent on and the choice of the individual. As you know, one’s quest and journey are one’s own. I recommend that the best place to start is with conscious awareness. It may be that I talk as much about this as I do free will. Conscious awareness gives one opportunity across a vast spectrum. In this case, it gives one the opportunity to maintain a consistent mode of life. This opportunity allows you to develop the ability to recognize when you have the potential to enter or have entered this mode. Being consciously aware helps you to maintain a consistent state of being with the regular practice of feeling, dealing and healing throughout your life. What this means is experience it but do not stay there. This can be accomplished through conscious awareness. Your awareness aids you in taking notice of yourself which helps you to recognize truths about yourself and your life. These epiphanies can be a realized through outside interaction or influence that opened your eyes and/or heart to yourself and your life journey.

Living It

I think it is safe to say that most of us strive for this. It’s been said that one must take life by the horns and live it. What does it mean? The meaning is subjective. It means different things to different people. It means different things to different generations. It means different things in different cultures. What is considered to be ‘living it’ may not be considered so by someone else. The meaning of living it when it pertains to life is what you think it is because it is usually based on your perspective. It can also be based on your priorities. Both are variables that change throughout life and impact your view of what living it means. There are certain times of change in life that some call milestones. Others call them phases or stages of life. Like most things, living it is multi-faceted.

Are you present? Living takes being present. Does it not? How can you be living life if you are not in the now where life is taking place? It also takes engagement (effort). Are you engaged? Engagement in life is necessary. It is not meant to skate through. Your effort is needed towards making what you want happen. Are you putting forth the necessary effort? Being idle in your life won’t make anything happen. Then there is participation.

Are you participating in life? Living is about human interaction and connections. Technology has hindered this facet of living life. When was the last time you did or went anywhere without having your phone in front of your face? When was the last time you enjoyed and experienced life without video taping or photographing it for social media? When was the last time you had a face to face conversation with someone without the use of technology? When was the last time you called someone instead of texting? When was the last time you got together with friends or family? When was the last time you participated in your community? Interpersonal skills seem to have decreased. Personal connections seem to be weaker. Without human interaction and connections, how does one maintain the strong foundation that is needed for unity?

Are you connected to your surroundings? Living is also about the connections to your surroundings… home, nature, earth, etc. Are you connected to your living quarters? Is it temporary or permanent? Is it a space that you occupy? Is it a space that you made a home? Are you connected to nature as you are part of it? Is there a disconnect in that you feel separate from it? When was the last time you enjoyed the outdoors and all of its beauty. When was the last time that you observed the life that exists around you in it? Are you connected to the earth? Whenever I think about this, I see Richard Gere in the movie “Pretty Woman” walking back and forth in the grass at the park in his bare feet. When was the last time you walked barefoot in the grass connecting to the earth? When was the last time you observed the clouds of day or gazed at the stars of night? What has been your experience? Do you marvel at and/or find solace in them?

Living it is about love. It is about who you love… including yourself. It is about what you love… what you enjoy doing. It is about what excites you… what you are passionate about. It is about what has meaning to you… what makes you feel alive. It is about what is important to you (priorities). It is about connecting with every part of who you are… to what makes you, well you.

You Choose

Your mode of life is within your control. You have a choice, however, you may not be consciously aware that one was made and that you made it. Staying consciously aware, helps you to keep your mode in check as you progress on your journey through this life and all that you encounter along your way. Be honest with yourself as you reflect. Without honesty, you are in a faking it mode. Major events occur in life that can rock you to your core and need to be processed. Know that when these times of existing are experienced that you can resume living it when you so choose.

Embrace yourself and your life making the best of every day no matter what you are faced with.